December 2009
32 posts
“Develop your eccentricities while you are young. That way, when you get old,...”
– David Ogilvy
“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems...”
– chuck klosterman
“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with...”
– Lemony Snicket
My life is just one big awkward coincidence.
Gran: This is delicious
Mum: hmm?
Gran: These.. strawberries..
Mum: Oh, yeah. I thought they fit the cheesecake well.
Jessica (Colporteur): I wish I didn't have to eat it with cream Mum
Mum: You're meant to, otherwise it'll spoi-
Gran: No it wouldn't
Gran: You'd be able to fit more strawberries in the bowl that way
Gran: *hiccup*
Jessica: *sniffs strawberries*
Gran: *starts giggling in her chair*
Jessica: Mum, did you soak these in alcoh-
Gran: Moar?
“Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost,...”
– Unknown
Toll Booth Banter!
Tom Oatmeal: Two for the toll booth please! My dog Eric and I would like to keep driving on this road.
Toll Operator: Throw the money in the bin. It's the same every time.
Tom Oatmeal: Sorry.
Toll Operator: No, you're not. You do this every day and I tell you the same thing every day. I seriously hate you.
(Before he can finish his sentence, Tom pretends to pass out, his head making the horn honk as he drives slowly forward.)
“Whenever I am about to do something, I think: would an idiot do that? And if...”
– Dwight Shrute
November 2009
1 post
August 2009
3 posts
July 2009
5 posts
“I’ve decided to name my urethra Franklin. Get it? Eh? Eh? Urethra...”
– katefeetie (Twitter)
“I’ve learnt that you are what you eat. Hmm… looks like I’ve been eating an...”
– Ryan Shelton
